In June, the Tony Awards were in the air. It inspired me to celebrate Broadway’s biggest night by passing out a few “awards” of my own.
So, I polled a group of fifty local actors and actresses to find out how many times they’ve played the villain, kissed the girl, and bit the bullet onstage, among many other shenanigans. There were loads of great stories and some of the “races” were close, but when the results were tallied, these are the folks who came out on top! (Disclaimer: Results of this poll are non-scientific and are meant for entertainment purposes only. No results were intended to inspire heavy drinking - cause aneurisms – or puncture the over-inflated, well-nourished, dramatic egos sometimes found in the theatre).
THE CORONER’S CHOICE AWARD
MATT ASTIN
Matt Astin has played dead, dying or the “undead” a whopping five times on stage. Upon learning he was receiving this not-so-posthumous honor, Matt said, “It takes a lot to know how to die. Thank goodness, I'm not a method actor. I've been shot, strangled, thrown off a building and blown up by cannon. Anyone can die with their eyes closed; the key to a convincing on-stage death is keeping the eyes open and really shallow breathing. The longest I have gone without blinking after death is about five minutes during the last scene of Jekyll and Hyde. That really freaks out the audience in the first couple of rows."
MASTER OF DISGUISE
ROB O’QUINN
The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz and the Beast in Beauty and the Beast, both at Macon Little Theatre. Each time, a combination of makeup and prosthetic facial pieces were used to achieve the desired look. When Rob heard he had reached the top, he said, “First off, I'd like to thank our wonderful directors, Sylvia Haynie and Laura Voss. You guys created something truly magical. Also, I'd like to thank Denver Pickard, hair and makeup extraordinaire. You're a true artist, man. I gotta give props to my scene partner, Ashley Feagin, for not giving up on me. As many times as I stepped on your feet or your dress during the waltz, you had every right to punch me in the face, and you only did it once. Last but not least, to my beautiful wife, Karen…you are my rock, my soul mate, my best friend. I couldn't do this without you.”
LAVISH LINGUIST
DON MCGRAW
Seasoned actor Don McGraw has employed his good ear for foreign accents in dozens of different shows. Recently, he is worked on perfecting his Yiddish, German, and Midwestern accents, all for the same show (Twentieth Century at Theatre Macon)! When he learned that his plethora of dialect character experience had landed him the top spot in the survey, this is was he had to say: “Vorrei ringraziare tutte le "piccolo popolo" ... Eh, scusi ... I'm a-supposed to say a-dis in Inglese! I'd a-like to thank all of the "little a-people" who made this all a-possible. And when I a-say that, I don't a-mean short people; I a-mean all of the little a-people who live a-inside my head! Whether it's a-the little guy who sounds a-like Mario or der Cherman mensch vhat pops out from time to time…Ja or Aye and Begorrah! - that wee little leprechaun sittin' at the end o' the rainbow upon 'is pot o' gold; I owe them all a debt of gratitude for helping me win theis prestigious award. Gratzie! Danke! Merci!”
THE POLYAMOROUS PRIZE
PHIL BANZE
If you’re in enough shows, chances are at some point or another you’ll find yourself in a role that requires—GASP—a kiss. Some, however, are more “lucky” than others. Phil Banze has had this honor some fifteen times, making him the most kissed man of the survey. “I can't tell you how honored I am to receive this poignant recognition! While I'm still quite puzzled as to why, exactly, so many of my roles have included the proverbial "dramatic kiss," I can say that my success in this area would not be possible without the countless hours of practice and repetition donated by my lovely fiancée, Emma Stitt. Without her constant guidance and support, this award would never have been possible!"
THE “MAKE IT RAIN ON ME” MEDAL
TOM MORRIS
While Tom celebrated his fiftieth show with Theatre Macon as Doolittle in My Fair Lady without having to strip down to his skivvies, it’s certainly not because he’s afraid to show a little skin. He has had roles that required this particular type of bravery six times total, including one stage experience completely in the buff (Theatre Macon’s The Full Monty). Of his unique stage experiences, Tom says, “I would like to express my gratitude for all of the opportunities to expose my "talents" and bare my "soul" to Middle Georgia audiences.”
THE PANTOMIME AWARD
SARAH HULETT
Sarah loves the stage and she’s happy to take on any role her directors see fit…even the silent ones. Of her seven times on stage in a non-speaking role, Sarah jokes, "I would like to thank all the directors who didn't like my voice enough to give me one line. I'll just keep on being a person in the crowd...I'm pretty good at it."
FUNNIEST TECHNICAL MALFUNCTION
JONATHAN WILLIS
From having an “interesting” conversation offstage that was projected to the audience through his still-on body microphone to a mishap with a belt that stopped the show in its tracks for a solid minute because of uncontrollable laughter from both the audience and the actors on stage, Jonathan Willis proclaims that he has been somewhat accident prone in twenty-six out of twenty-six shows in the area. "I just want to thank the Theatre Gods for constantly throwing me curve balls on stage and proving that holding character is one of the hardest things in the world."
THE BADDEST OF THE BAD
ASHLEY CARSON
With eight times as a show’s villainess, Ashley Carson takes the prize as the area’s most accomplished baddie. On her masterminding of mayhem, she says, “Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, The Joker, the Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail; all villains and all hailed as some of the finest evil performances of all time, at least by me. I think one of the keys to playing a villain is keeping your audience guessing about what made you the way you are. I guess that's why I've been selected to play the villain so much. That, or I just look like a major b*#%h.”
--------------
SHARE THE LOVE
Local actors share their most interesting moments on stage!
Pam Burkhalter
“I played a set of triplets—two female and one male--at Warner Robins Little Theatre in The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940.”
Gail Johnson
“I had to strip down to my slip and climb onto a table and straddle a turkey. The play was Dearly Beloved and the part was Honey Raye Futrell. She was the wild sister that came home to Fayro suffering from "hot flashes" but still had an eye for the men.”
Carol Milton
“I rode a bicycle down the aisle.”
JP Haynie
“In The Complete Wrks of Wllm Shkspr (abridged), I got to vomit in audience members’ laps…as a woman!”
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